Breaking the Silence: When Adults Speak Out About Childhood Sexual Abuse

There comes a time, sometimes decades after the fact, when an adult survivor of child sexual abuse finds the strength to speak out. It is not a moment that arrives easily. For many, the silence was never a choice but a survival strategy. That silence can be deeply rooted in shame, fear, confusion, or the misguided belief that what happened to them was somehow their fault.

Breaking that silence is not just an act of courage; it can be a reclamation of voice, truth, and dignity.

Weighing the Pros and Cons of Sharing Your Story

Before breaking the silence, it can be helpful to take time to reflect on why you want to tell your story and what you hope to gain from it. Some survivors find it useful to weigh the potential benefits and risks.

Potential Benefits

• Feeling less alone in your experience

• Gaining emotional relief or a sense of release

• Receiving support or validation

• Reclaiming your voice and agency

• Beginning or deepening the healing process

  
  

Possible Risks

• The listener may not respond in the way you hope

• You might feel vulnerable or exposed

• Emotional triggers could surface unexpectedly

• Concern about how it may affect relationships

There is no right choice, only your choice. Thinking through what you hope to gain can guide how much you want to share, who feels safe to tell, and when the time feels right. You get to set the terms. This is your story, no one else’s.

Some people find it helpful to explore these questions in therapy first, giving space to sort through their feelings, needs, and boundaries before opening up to others.

Why Speaking Out Matters

For survivors, speaking out is rarely about dwelling in the past. It’s often about making sense of it, naming what happened, recognizing its impact, and beginning (or continuing) the work of healing. It can be an important step in ending the internalized shame that often lingers long after the abuse has stopped.

Many adults only come to understand the full weight of what happened once they begin to see its echoes in their adult lives; difficulties with intimacy, struggles with self-worth, emotional dysregulation, intrusice thoughts, feelinsg of being on edge, or even physical symptoms with no clear cause. Speaking about their experience can be a way of connecting the dots and finding freedom in clarity.

Choosing When, How, Who and How Much to Tell

Disclosing childhood sexual abuse is deeply personal. Survivors don’t owe anyone their story. It is your story, and no one else’s.

Confronting your own story can be hard enough, and deciding how much to share adds another layer of complexity. Carefully considering who to tell, how to tell them, and how much to share can help survivors feel more in control and emotionally safe. Some may choose to say just enough to name the experience. Others may feel ready to share more detail over time. There is no right or wrong way, only what feels manageable and authentic in the moment.

It would be ideal if every disclosure was met with support, empathy, and care. But sadly, that’s not always the case. Some survivors are met with disbelief, minimization, or even blame. These reactions can deepen the wound and make trust even harder to rebuild. That’s why it’s okay to be wise, and even to be selective of the people you share this very person story with. You are allowed to protect your story, and yourself.

What Most Survivors Need When Sharing Their Story

For many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, breaking the silence can be both powerful and deeply vulnerable. Before sharing your story, it’s okay and often essential to communicate your needs. Let others know how you want them to respond, how much you feel ready to share, and what kind of support you need in that moment.

When someone does choose to disclose, the most healing response is simple: believe them. Listen without judgment. Don’t ask for details. Don’t try to fix it. Just hold space with compassion and care.

Whether it’s spoken in a therapy room, shared with a trusted friend, written in a journal, or told publicly, disclosure sends an important message to the survivor’s mind and body: You are safe now. You don’t have to carry this alone anymore.

Healing Is Possible

Healing from child sexual abuse is not linear, and it’s not quick, but it is possible. It often involves learning how to feel safe again: in your own body, in relationships, and in the world. It means learning how to trust your emotions, set boundaries, and reconnect with your sense of self-worth.

Therapy, support groups, body-based work, creative expression, and community can all play a role in helping survivors move forward, not just to survive, but to live more fully.

A Note from the Author

As a therapist, and as someone who has spent many years walking alongside survivors of childhood sexual abuse, this is a deeply personal and specialized area of my work. I understand the complexity of what it means to carry this kind of story and the courage it takes to even consider sharing it.

If you are navigating these questions yourself, please know you are not alone. Whether or not you choose to speak your story out loud, healing is possible. And it is okay to move at your own pace.

If you’re looking for a safe and supportive space to begin your healing, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore what healing might look like for you.

Warmly,

Sherry Slejska

Register Social Worker, Psychotherapist

sherryslejska.rsw@gmail.com